Oh my God!! I am pregnant!!!

Pregnant? How can this be happening to me? Why now of all times!!! Don't I have enough to deal with?

Christmas concert

The kids have been so excited about their first Christmas away from home. I wonder what all the fuss is about when all we hold dear is not near right now. They had to put up a show at school for the parents and I felt so proud watching them sing their little hearts out. Jnr is doing a bit better on the social front at school. He made a friend at last, though it's another black boy. Should I be worried about that? Princess on the other hand has invitations to about 3 Christmas and birthday parties already. My, My, my. I told Sue what happened to me at work and she thinks I take everything too seriously. It's not my fault. I am an African woman and I deserve to be treated with respect, especially by people younger than I am. Oh well. I guess when in Rome.....
When will I ever get to sit in front of a desk again, with my own PC? The only time I get to handle a computer is when I'm at home working on my blog. What happened to me, the competent project manager? I swear if I ever eat another burger, I will die!! I get so tired of smelling them all day. Who would have thought?

Brrrr.............

I got a query at work the other day for coming late 3 days in a row. How was I to know there would be so much traffic because of the snow and that I would have to get up from bed almost an hour earlier to get to work at the same time I usually would? And its so cold in the mornings that it's even harder to get up. I looked at my supervisor who is all of 24 years old and I really felt down while she was chewing me out. She's the same age as my younger sister back home who worships the ground I walk on. Probably the same age as the girls who used to serve us our complimentary morning cup of tea at our desks at work back home. And here she was, wringing me out with her tongue. I locked myself in the washroom right after and had a good cry. Why am I crying so much these days?

Jingle bells

Christmas is in the air and am trying my hardest to spare the kids the gory details. After our row the other day, we didn't speak to each other for days. I am totally not used to that. I had to go crawling with my tail between my legs to make up with him. We had a long talk and I told him how hard it is for me, being demoralised at work and then coming home to his surly attitude. He promised to be more supportive. We need to be strong for each other right now so we can surmount all these difficulties. Our finances of course are not in a very good state right now. The weather is absolutely awful. It's so cold even the kids who normally are up for anything are finding it hard to adjust. We had to spend a whole lot of money getting them the right gear for the cold season. Everything is so expensive in Calgary. Is it like that everywhere else, I wonder?

Hard graft

I accepted a job in a fast food joint, flipping burgers. Sometimes I feel like a failure, like I have settled for less. I just don't know what to do. And George has refused to say anything about the situation. He has remained adamant about finding the sort of job he had back home. What makes it worse is that after sending out tons of applications, he hasn't even had a single call to be interviewed. What does this all mean? We had a screaming row the other day. I told him to wake up and stop burying his head in the sand. He still insists it's all my fault we are here. My advice to everyone is to make sure there are no unresolved issues between you and your partner before embarking on any new venture. I thought this would be a new beginning for us, time to be alone and sort ourselves out. But no. Cried myself to sleep. I miss my mum.

A friend at last

I met a nice lady at the kids' school. She's a parent too. Canadian lady. Very nice. Her name is Sue. We arranged to meet up outside the school and we just sat somewhere and had drinks. It was nice to unburden myself to someone else. I haven't really felt I could talk to anyone of our friends. That would be tantamount to washing our filthy linen in public. Sue was very understanding. She thinks I should stop being so picky about a job and just take anyone, at least something to guarantee me some income while George keeps sulking. He still blames me for putting us in this situation, the coward.

Grim , grim, grim!

The kids have started school; George Jnr is in Grade 2 and Princess my 5-year-old daughter is in Kindergarten. Princess seems to have settled in well, but George Jnr? Not so easy!! He got into a fight at school the other day. Apparently some boy told him he stank. And Jnr has always been confrontational just like his father. I had to go talk to the Head-teacher because George, as usual, refuses to face his responsibilities. Well, someone has to stand up for Jnr. I gave the headteacher a piece of my mind and she won't forget me in a hurry. He had been complaining but no one was doing anything so the poor boy felt he had to stand up for himself. I really don't know what to do. This wasn't what I bargained for at all!!

Hot soup!

Neither of us has been able to find a job and this is almost 3 months on. People keep telling us to be patient and that we only just got here, but I can't help it in the light of our dwindling finances. We thought we had a lot saved up but we were wrong. What was supposed to be our nest egg is rapidly diminishing. Tensions have started between George and I because he suddenly now remembers it was I who so badly wanted to come here. It was I who started the immigration process. I don't remember him expressing any reservations then because he was disgruntled in his job too and wanted a change. Suddenly it's all my fault things aren't moving as smoothly. He still hasn't dropped this childish behavior of passing the buck all the time. Dear God, what have I let myself in for?

Oh No!

We finally found a dingy townhouse and we have to pay $1,400 dollars a month for rent, that doesn't include the utilities or the damage deposit. We moved in our bare essentials and have set about getting the kids all settled, registering them in schools and stuff. The first shock for me is having to do all the housework. I honestly can't remember the last time I cleaned toilets. There was always someone else around to do that for me. George's rose-colored spectacles are coming off because he sees that he has to help me too. It's all too much for me!! We have the kids registered to start school in September which is almost here. Our job search has started in earnest. I obviously can't afford to be a lady of leisure, what with that rent. We found a beat-up car at some auction and the first question the kids asked was "are we supposed to ride in this?" I ask myself, "have we spoilt them?" Well, we at least need something to get around with. Money, money, money. I am so worried about money. We keep spending and nothing is coming in. At least not yet. I'll try to remain optimistic while I keep sending my resumes out. Time will tell.

What gives?

George has no idea I'm running this blog. He probably would have a fit if he knew. That's why I like the fact that I can remain anonymous and still unburden myself. I call this my escape from reality.
I don't want to compound his worries by expressing mine so I come on here and do it.
What on earth is happening? The houses we are even being forced to look at within our price range are not quite the style I am accustomed to living in. Not enough space. What happened to everyone having their own rooms, each with an en suite toilet and bathrooms? That's another thing. They seem to refer to toilets as "washrooms". I felt really foolish each time I asked someone for the toilets and they looked at me as if I was an alien from another planet.

Anyway, I'm going to have to convince George we might have to just settle for one and do without some creature comforts, if we can even find a landlord who would have us, because we are literally frittering money away staying in the hotel.
Wish me luck as I embark on this daredevil mission!!!

?????

We seem to have come at a bad time in the housing market. Can't even find a place to rent. We're still in a hotel 5 days on.
Were we too hasty in not contacting anyone we knew here so they could give us a soft landing? Or was it good ol' African pride? Well, I don't feel quite so "proud" or confident right now. Everyday we stay in the hotel we're running up bills and I can feel our resources dwindling. It's crazily expensive. There's something called Stampede going on right now. Was a mercy we even found a suite. There's people in cowboy hats and boots all over town, with signs reading
'yee-haw' in shop windows.
Whatever.
Luckily the weather is nice. The kids are getting restive living out of suitcases.
Anyhow, roll on tomorrow. We'll see what it brings.

Canada, here I am!!!

Canada at last!!!
We received our visas finally. Thought this day would never come. We applied for these visas when our son was barely a few months old. Now he's 7!! Talk about delayed gratification. Handed in my notice at work faster than you can say Oh! Canada. Been itching to leave there anyway.
George (my husband) and I talked about it and decided to just up and leave and here we are.

Here's to the beginning of the rest of our lives.